Land of Ban

Standard

The first condition of progress is the removal of censorship.

  – George Bernard Shaw

                                                                                                                                                                  
“Ban” such a common word for most Indians and half an abuse for most Delhiites.
Is banning a solution for anything under the sky?
Gujarat is alcohol free state or so they say. But see the below figures.

Guju

Alcohol ban was is implemented in Bihar earlier this year. But Bihar being Bihar knows how to get hands on things which are banned in this country.

You might ask why am I limiting my argument only towards ban on alcohol and not other things like beef, porn or homosexuality.
My answer to this is, if there is one thing that unites India from Kashmir to Kanyakumari it is alcohol. There is no conversation more honest than two drunk people talking to each other.

status

 

My status in light of liquor ban on highways

 

In the wake of recent ban of sale of crackers Delhi. In my opinion it is a bad idea especially for a place like Delhi where people have a special liking to create their own rules.

Air quality of Delhi is pathetic , the world knows it but if citizens by themselves do not take responsibility of their health, this ban will be counter-productive. We have enough hate-mongers in the country who will change this debate from a health prospective to hate prospective.
Air quality in Delhi is so bad that , even trees have started giving out CO2 instead of O2.
Delhi and many of our cities choke everyday due to pollution caused by various by vehicles and factories.
Placing a ban on a specific festival will only create a rebellion which is not good for country like India where various beliefs co-exits.
Bans work in countries which do not work on democracy, bans work in countries where people follow leader blindly (off course India is getting there but still better).

If you think you are affected by pollution caused by crackers take the effort to educate people, organize a peaceful march, run campaigns on social media. This might take a long time but that’s how democracies work.
We’ll if you like still want banning things, please ban.

  1. Hate-mongers
  2. Big Boss season 11
  3. Cringe Pop music
  4. Whats app forwards (double jail term for Unesco forwards)
  5. Driving alone to office.
  6. Tinder (Yes because it was released after I got married)

We’ll if you didn’t like this blog. Please don’t ban it.

Thanks for reading, please pray that Maggi never gets banned.

 

Advertisements

Urban Swimmers

Standard

How many years do we wait to produce a Michael Phelps in our country?

As I see this is the right time to take a call, we have supreme leader, supreme state governments and supreme municipality. Now you might wonder, having a supreme leader, state government and municipality increase our chance of getting gold medal in Olympics?

Well here’s your answer.

urswim

Why walk when you can swim

All of us have seen these pictures over and over again, but what have you done all these years? when governments are providing such wonderful opportunities for urban citizens to grow as better swimmers.

You have complained, cribbed and sometimes protested, but do you think it is your duty to ask questions? the answer is NO. You are supposed to vote once in 5 years, give your trust, love and most importantly taxes to central and state governments and chill on Facebook. If anyone speaks about issues on social media, as responsible nationalist your duty is call him names, like anti-national, librandu, presstitute. It your duty to harass him/her so much that they don’t question. After all leaders just want you to be better swimmers from this country with vision on Olympic medals.

Every monsoon or every time when it rains for more than 2 hours city come to a standstill, but that is not my worry. In fact I am happy that we get to spend time to random strangers so often that I have learnt networking. I like how the main cities in the country like Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Hyderabad and Bangalore are so well equipped for monsoon that people know that even this year government has provided them opportunities to:

  1. Spend time with random strangers on local trains, buses waiting for pick and drop for hours. (Real networking you see!!)
  2. Giving opportunity for citizens in city to use boat during monsoon season.
  3. Giving opportunities to journalist/ tv channels to cover news for 2 days & earn trp’s.
  4. Taking people by surprise, with Man holes like literally.
  5. Cities like Bangalore also provide Froth facility with flood water which is highly commendable.

I might need a website to write all the advantages, (see government/ municipality care about bloggers as well.)

Above all country needs more swimmers and achievers. So what are you waiting its almost the end of September. Make complete use of this facility become wonderful citizens of New India.

ur2swim

Let’s do this together 🙂

The struggling class

Standard

Yesterday I decided to take a local train from hi-tech city to secunderabad. As a natural zoner, In situations like these I take my flight of random thoughts.

But yesterday was something different as I stood in a packed comparment under the armpits of middle-aged man I took a look around the compartment and these thoughts came to my mind.

70 years back I could imagine the chaos the country was going through, millions crossed the border, millions killed, raped and tortured. Then I look at the crowd who are same set of people who are just doing things ordered by their governments. Pay taxes, follow rules and regulations. 

70 years back we had young men and women searching for jobs, daily wage labourers traveling from one corner of city to other, women standing around men who are staring at them in the most inappropriate way.And same is true today!

During everyday conversation we divide India as low-middle-upper class. But there is one class which everyone fails to recognize and truly so because they don’t cater to any vote bank. 

 This group is The Struggling Class  who are daring, dedicated, devotional and dangerous sometimes. They don’t give a flying fuck about governments because they grinding they way through from education to employment, from heathcare to housing. Thanks to this journey I realized India is not just people who are shouting on news channels but also a silent strong group contributing to the growth of this country.

Jai Hind!

The Blind Eye

Standard

The other day I came across this wonderful post from Randeeep Hooda 

This post is widely shared and appreciated across that section of social media users who are neither right,left or center.

As much as Mr Hooda and people who associate themselves with this post have freedom to voice out their opinion.I have a contrarian view on this.

  • This thought process narrows down your outlook therby seeing things in a small bubble you have created.
  • Mr Hooda’s suggestion on staying away from social media is ironical considering he used couple of social media platforms to put across his point.
  • The view of not debating on issues, not raising issues realted to society makes citizens weak and people in power unaccountable.
  • Concept of giving a blind eye to issues concerning society has bought us to a stage where leaders are worshipped, and people who ask questions are trolled.

My friends, My family, My people approach is awesome if you live in an island where governments don’t exist, where no policy affects you.

We in this digital environment cannot and should not shy away from asking questions to The Government, Media, Opposition, Religious leaders and your circle of friends and family.

Let me know what you think about it

Weekly Ha Ha

Standard

This week had so many things to say to the world. This week was a reflection of how low society has stoop to. This week was a preview into future of world politics and Indian economy. In short this week was like living Navjot singh sidhu’s muhavra.

blog-pic-1

Didn’t understand? neither did I

This week there was, the Great American Elections, Modi’s ban on 500 and 1000 currency and Delhi pollution.

Well let’s start with the news which gives you the same feeling when you watch a horror comedy flick. The Great American Elections has just concluded, and what a result , what a candidate. America now has officially made a Troll as a president.

Trump signifies a section of society who shout down others views, Trump signifies a section of society which loves name calling and labeling a group of people for their point of view. Right now democracy is being mocked by communism, socialism. Democracy feels like a girl who is forced to get married with a rich old man.( Balika Vadu ? oh yes)

America as a stand-up comic I would like to thank you for a giving us a character to build our career on. In short YOU SCREWED IT!

blog-pic-2

Let’s move the second biggest news of this week , yes Demonetization or in lay man terms “ATM out of service.” Personally I feel he did it with an awesome intention with pathetic implementation. Standing in queue after 8 long years felt like renewing bus pass , bought me back to my roots. Mean while today Rahul Gandhi also stood in queue with Rs 4000, with Rs 100 notes, why ‘O’ why?

If Demonetization could solve the problem of Black money so be it,  but if doesn’t at least you learnt that money is temporary , if you have a lot right now please do transfer into my account.
For those who have lost a reasonable some of black money, I just want to say “Aj mey upar asma neeche , aj mey age zamana hai peeche.”

For first 2 days of this week major headlines on all the news channels were pollution levels in Delhi and then Trump and Demonetization side tracked this news.

Delhi Pollution also caused a big uproar on social media, with some blaming bursting crackers on Diwali for the smog, others defending bursting crackers on Diwali. Some blamed the farmers in Punjab, some blamed the old diesel cars in the city. Some blamed AAP, some blamed BJP and some blamed poor old Sheila Dixit. I felt like a student caught copying in an exam who blamed his friend who passed the chit.
All the Delhiites are seen wearing a mask, only people who can live in Delhi right now are

 

blog-pic-4kanemask

And….

muffler-man

Yo! Muffler man

This week was eventful and surely will be remembered for the right and wrong reasons.
Next week promises to be a power packed, hope that everyone will find active ATM’s for your day-to-day needs.

Thank you for the read, look forward to entertain you with next Weekly Ha ha.

 

Great Indian Pothole

Standard

You don’t know how a Pothole looks like? Then my friend you haven’t been to India.

India as a country is divided by its religions and united by its Potholes. If there is anything that is constant from the bi-lanes of Kashmir to the ghat roads of Kanyakumari, it is these Potholes.

According to a research conducted earlier this year, bad roads killed over 10k people in 2015; 3,416 of these deaths are due to potholes. I’m like Ganta terrorism, first let’s save people from potholes.

Every year, thousands of crores are allocated to municipal departments around the country to repair and relay roads. In the early 60’s and 70’s, three things were important Roti, Kapda and makaan. In the today’s India there is only 1 thing that matters the most, which is Connectivity.

Connectivity via transport, communication (I mean easy download of movies online).

sitiing

Well most of us know that it can’t be solved in a day or two, nor do I see any substantial progress by Municipal Corporation. But as Indians we always have a Jugaad (makeshift solutions).

Jugaad No.1: Use Potholes as a form of art like this gentleman below

pic2.jpg

Kya Baat , Kya Baat , Kya Baat

Jugaad No.2: Pothole can be used to promote X-Games in the country.

pic3.jpg

Pothole stunt performed by professionals from Malakpet

Jugaad No. 3: Potholes can be used to study surface of moon this will save ISRO and NASA thousands of Dollars.

pic5.jpg

Picture of a Pothole from Begumpet

Jugaad No.4: People suffering with anxiety will learn patience while driving on roads filled with potholes. This can be made part of treatment.

Jugaad No.5: All employees who seek challenging work at their office, should be asked to take the road filled with potholes as a part of HR engagement activity.

These are some of solutions which come to my mind, however as Indians we are known to make best use of facilities available.

Now to some of you the above solutions may sound bizarre, which is the same reaction most of the citizens of this country give when they travel on these roads every day.

pic4.jpg

 

 

 

 

Complaints raised on this issue are either not heard not are given attention until there is an election round the corner. I’m neither pro- government nor anti-government I’m just a citizen, OMG! I sound like Arvind Kejriwal.

Cities like Amsterdam (no I haven’t been to the place you perverted people are thinking of) roads are repaired faster than time taken to travel from Marredpally to Hitec-city. Cities like Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai, Pune, Kolkata need to start competing with the international cities.

Tax paid by the common man needs to be made accountable and transparent. Maintenance of roads is one of best ways to showcase it. Let’s not limit our love for country by clicking Troll pages which demean other countries.

All of us work hard to fulfill our personal dreams and ambitions. Let’s give a small fraction of our time on weekends or any one of the weekdays to raise a complain at a local Municipal corporation, use social platforms like Facebook, Twitter not just to stalk girls but also to get the issue of potholes to larger audience, especially media.

Hope you read this article keeping aside all your political inclinations.
Special thanks to my local Municipal Corporation for providing me with wonderful roads which made this article possible.

Today if you are reading this blog, which means you are basically jobless I would urge you to please share my page.

Why so much Pink!

Standard

Advertisers have over the years successfully used Women to sell almost everything, yes that also includes Men’s products as well from undergarments to deodorants.
It’s different with me because i neither use undergarments nor do the deodorants have any effect on my sex appeal.

On a serious note i believe advertisers have used women like catalyst, damn! (chemical engineer in me never keeps quite) what i meant is women are used like the product that they are selling to the audience.

Well you might ask what is wrong there? they make money, they are happy, isn’t it?

Here’s my personal experience..

Few months back i remember that i bought some new furniture’s , as soon as the package of furniture’s arrived home, neighborhood uncle who is ready to start a conversation came home. The usual questions did come up like price, need and where did i order these?

Answering to his question i told him that the furniture’s were from Bantia , immediately i could see a creepy smile in his face, his palms running over the furniture repeating “Bantia na nyc nyc.”

word-press-2

Immediately the pictures of Bantia furniture hoarding came to my mind.

wordpress-1

Salla Thurkey!

Movie Pink throws light on women issues in country and we all know that there have already been thousands of movies in the country in almost all regional languages focusing on the importance of women rights.

Has it made a difference? sadly the answer is No

word press 4.jpg

Movie made on women rights had a Male lead image is bigger than the Female.

Because some women in the country have accepted the image society has portrayed them they are Good, Sweet, Homely, Pretty, Sexy.

What appalled me over the last few months is the Ad made on shauchalaya , even this Ad needed Vidya Balan, is women’s poop more important than man. Off course i believe that my morning poop carries utmost importance in my life.
Sorry for getting into details, but the point i want to drive home is.

Men and Women have together survived the dinosaurs, wars and sajid khan movies.
Both have unique sense of creativity, strength to survive difficult times and intellect to answer the toughest questions in life. We as a society need to reject brands which portray us incorrectly, parties which build vote bank on gender bias and people who see Men & Women with different spectacles.

Do let me know what you think about my article.